


For My Birthday, I Want Your Reconciliation

by Sam_I_Am (Chloe_Hallow_Eve)



Series: Home is Where the Heart Can Breathe [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Background Relationships, Continuation of 'We Don't Need An Adventure', Dirk makes up with some friends, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy 4/13! (Homestuck), M/M, birthday fic, masc enby Roxy Lalonde
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23635714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chloe_Hallow_Eve/pseuds/Sam_I_Am
Summary: It may be John's birthday, but he'd rather have Dirk make up with his friends than have a celebration. Good thing he gets both!
Relationships: Jake English & Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker & Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider
Series: Home is Where the Heart Can Breathe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701565
Comments: 40
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

The past couple of weeks had been really good for Dirk. He’d gotten lots of commissions, worked on some personal projects, visited with Dave then Roxy and Hal. He’d even managed to buy himself some decent groceries that week. Though, that was mostly because John had nagged him until he’d done it. 

He and John had been going steady, and even though they hadn’t had the chance to go on any real official-like dates yet because their schedules ended up conflicting, they still met up to walk around and watch movies in John’s room and get distracted from said movies because their lips had better things to do together. It really hadn’t been long at all, and it both felt that way and like Dirk had been dating John for longer than that. The relationship itself was new, sure, but they still picked on each other and dissed each other’s tastes. The dynamic was familiar. Things didn’t actually change much between them. Dirk could just kiss John now, whenever he wanted, which was pretty rad. 

Spending so much time at John’s had the consequence of meeting John’s father much sooner than he thought he would have to. Neither John nor Dirk had really cleared up Mr. Egbert’s impression that Dirk was just a friend, but it was fine. John wasn’t ready to tell anyone that he wasn’t as straight as he’d thought, and that he was dating Dirk. It didn’t bother him. Considering Dirk was still trying to figure out how to tell his own friends and family how he’d bounced from being all over Jake to all over John so quickly without sounding like a douche, he wasn’t keen on anyone knowing about them either. 

It just meant he had to come up with some creative excuses for why he couldn’t hang out with Roxy when he was getting ready to kiss his boyfriend stupid. And seeing as it had been almost two weeks, he still had plenty to spare. Sure, the longer Dirk and John kept their relationship on the downlow, the less excuses he’d have, but for now it was fine. John was happy, and Dirk was productive, and they were having fun exploring their new relationship together. 

At least they were, until John casually announced during their viewing of Little Shop of Horrors in John’s bed that he and Jane would be having a joint birthday party the weekend before their actual birthdays. It would be held at her and her dad’s place. Dirk hadn’t talked to Jane yet to apologize for what he said almost two months ago, and he didn’t want to until he actually knew how to. There was no way to avoid talking to Jane if he were at her fucking  _ birthday party _ . 

Staring at John, Dirk shifted until he could give him an accusing glare without actually moving from his spot, tucked against John’s side. “John, what the fuck.” 

John just shrugged, not looking bothered in the slightest. “Dirk, you’ve been waiting to apologize to her for, like, two months. And you said you’d do it after Jake got back. And Jake’s been back for weeks.”

“Almost two weeks, actually,” Dirk frowned at him, “and I said I’d talk to Jane after I talked to Jake. Not when he got back, specifically.” 

John paused. His arm behind Dirk’s head shifted as he propped himself up to look at Dirk properly. “Have you not talked to Jake yet?” 

Realizing his mistake, Dirk suddenly found himself with nothing to say. He opened his mouth, hoping to have an explanation or excuse at the ready, but instead all that came out was, “Uh. Not exactly.” 

“Dirk!” 

“I’ve been busy, John. What do you expect me to do, double book myself when we have already agreed to watch the newest and shitties Marvel movie that I’ve pirated? Tell you I can’t come, I have to go see my ex? Is that what you want to happen?”

“Kind of, yeah! If you told me you were going to talk to Jake, I’d understand and not worry about it!” He flopped back onto his pillows, exasperated but not moving away from Dirk. “Ugh. But whatever, the point is, you should talk to Jane while you have the chance. Because if you and her dance around each other and act all passive aggressive and shit on her and my birthday, I will be really disappointed in you.” 

“Oh no, disappointment, however will I survive,” Dirk kept his voice flat to hide the fact that he would probably do most anything to keep John from actually being disappointed in him. 

John snorted, using his hand to turn Dirk’s face and leaned in. “Shut up.” 

Dirk did. Mostly because then John’s lips were on his, and Dirk wouldn’t turn down make outs. His stomach still filled with giddy little bursts whenever they kissed, and it made him a little breathless, and Dirk wanted to take advantage of the feeling while it lasted. 

Pulling away a little, John brushed their noses together. “You’ll still come to my birthday party even if you end up not apologizing to Jane, right?” 

Sighing through his nose, Dirk tilted his head, muttered ‘fine’ into John’s lips, and pulled him into another kiss. He could feel the way John grinned against his mouth, and couldn’t find it in himself to resent John for his smugness. 

They didn’t talk about it again. But what they had said was enough for Dirk to actually think about how to approach Jane and apologize. 

He kind of hated how good John was at getting him to do stuff. He tried telling himself he was just entertaining John because their relationship was new, and he wanted to lull John into a false sense of security so he was less likely to fight Dirk when Dirk started saying no. In reality, he knew that was false, and just one of his coping mechanisms against vulnerability, and John would likely continue to be able to get Dirk to do things with just one conversation. But he still pretended that wasn’t what was happening, for his own sanity. 

When the weekend rolled around, Dirk had failed to talk to Jane still. He’d thought about calling her, or texting her, but it seemed like a waste when she could just ignore him. Or maybe he was just stalling until he literally couldn’t stall anymore, the same way he’d ignored John after they’d kissed for the first time until he couldn’t anymore. Since he didn’t contact her, it would end up being a messy face to face interaction. 

In a vain attempt to solve things before he had to interact with everyone, he ended up walking to her place three hours before the party was supposed to start. John was coming an hour later to help set everything up, but knowing Jane, she had probably started the minute she woke up. So Dirk figured, fuck it, no better way to apologize than to dive into helping Jane set up for her birthday party. 

She lived just down the street from John, close enough to tell their houses had been designed by the same architect. The outsides looked almost exactly the same, save for the absence of a slime pogo. Now that Dirk had been inside John’s house, as well as Jane's in the past, he couldn’t help thinking how weird it was that their places were so similar. Not that he could talk much, he lived in an apartment, but still. They felt the same, on the inside. Homey and lived in, with ever burning fire places. Though Jane’s place might not feel so homey anymore, if she decided she was really pissed at Dirk. 

Schooling his features and straightening his posture, Dirk walked up to the door. He knocked, stood back, and waited. 

There was a voice, then footsteps, then the door opened and Jane, wiping her hands on a white apron, stood with a pleasantly neutral expression that shifted sour very quickly. Her gaze narrowed, immediately searching Dirk’s face for something. Dirk did his best to keep the set of his mouth straight. 

“Dirk. John informed me you would be making an appearance at the party,” Jane said, ever diplomatic, “which is in three hours.” 

“Yep.” Dirk shrugged. “I came early to do something else, though.” 

Jane eyed him for a long moment, lingering in the doorway. Then she looked back into the house, sighed, and stepped aside. “Well, if that’s the case, come in. I will be putting you to work, I hope you know.” 

“Wouldn’t expect anything less.” 

Stepping inside, Dirk kicked off his shoes then followed Jane as she moved towards the double swinging kitchen doors. The smell of baked goods and sugar was thick in the air, and the temperature was a couple degrees higher due to the lit fireplace and the oven. It was almost hot enough to feel like he was back in Houston. The worst of it was in the kitchen, where there was a mess of ingredients and utensils and Jane’s dad. Dirk couldn’t tell what they were working on at that moment, but he knew the end result would be way too much food for how many people would be coming. 

Looking over, Jane’s dad smiled at Dirk and offered him a greeting with a few quick motions. A little surprised he was being polite even though he most definitely heard about what happened from Jane, Dirk returned the hello and working a little slowly in spelling out ‘Mr. Crocker’. He really had to brush up on his asl. 

“Dad,” Jane said, hands moving as she spoke, “could you start on the decorations? Dirk has offered his hands for baking.” 

Mr. Crocker nodded, reminded Jane to take the cookies out of the oven soon, and slipped out of the room. Once the western double doors swung shut behind him, Jane grabbed a pink apron and shoved it at Dirk. 

“Here. I assume you can mix the dry ingredients without problem. All the measurements are sorted out, you just have to put them together.” 

“Guess we’ll see.” Dirk took the offered apron and put it on. “John gave me a crash course on a couple foods, so I know how to not make a complete mess now.” 

Cocking a brow, but not looking at him, Jane briskly pulled the wet ingredients towards herself and began pouring them into a bowl. “Roxy informed me you two were spending a lot of time together recently. I’m still surprised he managed to shove some kitchen comprehension in your skull.” 

Shrugging, Dirk dumped the cups of flour, sugar, and some other powders he wasn’t sure what were into a larger bowl. Picking up one of the dozen Crocker Corp spatulas around, Dirk began stirring. “Not that he isn’t a good teacher, but most of why I remembered it was because we got in a food fight after and I used my newly acquired skills for evil.”

Jane hummed. Glancing at his bowl, she seemed to deem it acceptable because she picked up hers and started pouring into his slowly. “Keep stirring. As grateful as I am that you finally know enough not to ruin my kitchen-”

“It’s already pretty ruined Janey.”

She smacked his shoulder. “As I was saying. I’m glad you won’t set everything alight, and that you offered your assistance, but I would like to know what prompted your sudden need to help me hours before the party when we both know this is not your forte and you have little interest in baking.” 

“Damn, caught red handed. Nothing gets past you, miss detective, master sleuth in a world or knock-off Sherlock’s. Will you cart me off to the slammer or do I get a trial?” 

“I’ll decide once you state the motivation behind such fraudulence.”

“Fair enough.” Dirk paused, insides twisting at the thought of being open and genuine. He swallowed it down and stomped his hesitation out as best he could. “I wanted to apologize for snapping at you and accusing you of being the reason Jake broke up with me. You were right, our problems persisted long before he talked to you. Even if you had been though, I shouldn’t have said what I did. Jake took your advice, so he wanted it on some level. I shouldn’t have taken out any of my emotions on you, and definitely shouldn’t have accused you of just wanting to get in Jake’s pants. That was a low blow. And then I shouldn’t have let that hang over us for over a month. I’m sorry.” 

Setting her now empty bowl down, Jane took a breath and sighed. Her fingers drummed along the counter as she took a moment. Dirk kept stirring, letting her think. After a moment, she turned her head to look at him. She looked tired. 

“When you first said those things, I was very angry. I swore I wouldn’t speak to you again until you grovelled enough, and though Roxy told me that was a terrible idea, I didn’t listen. But the days passed, and I grew less angry, and you didn’t talk to me. But I couldn’t reach out first, you said some very hurtful things! And though my anger was diminishing my stubbornness stayed true and I began to think-” Jane blinked as her eyes grew wet, and her voice wavered a bit, “I began to think you would never speak to me again. That I lost one of my very best friends.” 

Aw, shit. He made Jane cry. If there was anything that made him crumble, it was seeing his friends cry. Feeling like shit, and cursing himself for acting like shit, Dirk stopped stirring and turned to wrap an arm around Jane’s shoulders and pull her into a side hug. 

“Hey, no matter how much of an idiot I’m being, you and Roxy will always be my best friends. I love you no matter what, you got that? I’m like black mould. If you really want to get rid of me, you’ll have to burn down the goddamn house.”

Jane’s giggle was a little strained, but she rested her head on Dirk’s shoulder. “I would never. Thank you for apologizing.” 

“Don’t thank me for that.” He squeezed her shoulders. “I should have done it long ago. Thanks for accepting it.” 

“You’re damn right to be grateful.” 

Snorting, Dirk pressed a kiss to the top of Jane’s head. She sighed, using one hand to take her glasses off and the other to wipe at the moisture that gathered. They stood there for a few peaceful moments, basking in their mended bridge. Dirk hadn’t realized how much he’d missed her. It was a cold month without her burning house and baked goods. 

Taking another breath, Jane stood up straight and replaced her glasses on her face. “Now! Hand over that bowl, you’re doing a terrible job of getting rid of the lumps.” 

With a smile, Dirk gladly slid the bowl over to Jane. She got to work immediately, a smile on her face and a whistle on her lips that paused only to tell Dirk what to do. Now that they were good again, Dirk was actually looking forward to the party. It would be nice to have her and Roxy near him again. 

The only problem left was that Jake would be there too, and Dirk couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t be weird. He ignored that though, chopping fruit for a platter. As it turned out, cooking was another good way he could keep his hands and thoughts occupied. 

***

Double checking that he had everything as he approached Jane’s door, John muttered his dad’s instructions about what to do with the pile of food in his arms when he got inside. It was a big pile, and a long list, and he really wished his family could calm down with the baking when it came to celebrations. Especially his birthday. Even though it wasn’t actually his birthday quite yet. 

John had woken up with his house littered with cakes he was planning to offer to his friends like party favours, and was almost instantly recruited to help dad bake some goodies for his and Jane’s party. There were going to be thirteen people there, but he knew that Jane’s family was probably also baking up a storm. Their combined efforts would produce ridiculous amounts of baked goods. John would probably be offering extras to their neighbours for days. 

Knocking with his foot, John stepped back. The door opened, and Uncle James’ crows feet wrinkled with amusement. He’d insisted on being called Uncle James by John, Jade and Jake ever since they were little, even though he wasn’t actually their uncle. 

With his hands occupied by the containers, and his mouth blocked, John had no way to properly greet him. Uncle James seemed to realize this, too, because his amusement only doubled. He made no effort to move out of the doorway, only staring at John expectantly while signing a greeting. John gave him a flat look as he said ‘is something the matter son? You’re awfully quiet.’ 

“You’re being a dick,” John said, knowing full well Uncle James wouldn’t be able to tell what he said. He still received a disappointed look, like Uncle James could just sense what he’d said, and John offered a sheepish, “Sorry.” 

“John? Is that you?” Jane came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. When she saw his predicament, she laughed, but tapped her dad on the shoulder. “Please let him in, Uncle Joseph said he would make ice cream sandwiches and I’d hate to see them melt.” 

Uncle James waved a hand and went back to decorating. Rolling her eyes, Jane offered John a smile. “Happy early birthday, John.” 

“Happy early birthday, Jane!” Stepping inside, John nodded to the containers in his arms. “Dad’s going to be coming a little later, he’s just finishing up a couple things and cleaning up. Also, can you take a few containers? There are actually ice cream sandwiches in one of these.” 

“Oh, but my hands are awfully dirty.” Jane batted her eyelashes, her smile just a touch too mischevious to be sweet. “Would you mind taking them to the kitchen yourself?” 

“You’re evil.” 

Jane laughed in her weird ‘hoo hoo’ way. John kicked her toes lightly as he walked to the kitchen, turning to push through the swinging doors since Jane didn’t offer to hold them open. Said devil only smiled, a couple steps behind him and looking far too smug. The trickster's gambit was ticking slowly into her corner. That was fine, John could get her back later. They’d be together until tomorrow after all. 

Spinning back around, John paused. Dirk was crouched in front of the oven, staring in at whatever was baking. John doubted he could actually see that through both his own shades and the tinted glass, but he seemed really focused, in a pink frilly apron, so John didn’t pick on him immediately. Instead, his heart fluttered with pleasant surprise and affection that had him grinning wide. 

“Dirk!” 

Dirk looked up as John rushed to the counter to set down the containers. He stood, offering John the beginnings of a smile before John slipped over and wrapped him up in a big hug. Dirk chuckled against his shoulder, arms coming up to hug him back, and John would have kissed him right on the mouth if Jane wasn’t also entering the kitchen. Instead, he just squeezed Dirk a little, trying to convey the amount of joy he felt when he saw his boyfriend like that. 

And didn’t that just send bubbles bouncing around in his stomach? His boyfriend. Dirk was his boyfriend, had been for almost two weeks, and John hadn’t gotten over how great that was. He could kiss and cuddle Dirk practically whenever he wanted, could text him good morning and good night and things that reminded John of him, and got to see Dirk like no one else did. It all felt so special, so real, and so good. It was really nice to have Dirk as his boyfriend. 

“Hey,” Dirk muttered into his shirt, his thumbs rubbing John’s back. 

Resting his head against Dirk’s for a moment, John whispered ‘hey’ back before pulling away. He wanted to hug Dirk for so much longer, to just stand in the warmth and hold him until John got his fill, but Jane was standing right there and he wasn’t quite ready to tell anyone about him and Dirk. He was really grateful that Dirk understood that and let him take his time. He had the best boyfriend. 

John smiled at him. “What are you doing here? The party isn’t for another hour.” 

“Oh, so you’re not happy to see me?”

“I didn’t say that.” 

Giving him a little smirk, Dirk shrugged. “You told me to talk to Jane. So I talked to Jane.” 

John lit up, resisting the urge to reach out and take Dirk’s hand. “You did? That’s so great! I’m so proud of you!” 

Dirk snorted. “You sound like your dad.” 

John didn’t have time to process the horror of that statement, or how true it was, when Jane cleared her throat. Jumping a little, John turned to her with a sheepish smile. Brows raised, Jane motioned to the containers he’d left on the counter, and John groaned but went to put them away. Eyes bouncing between John and Dirk for a moment, Jane cleared her throat again. 

“Roxy did tell me you’d become friends, but I hadn’t thought you’d be so close already.” 

“Yeah, well,” Dirk crouched in front of the oven again, “John has a disregard for personal boundaries.” 

“What!” John shoved the ice cream sandwich container in the freezer, looking over his shoulder to narrow his eyes at Dirk. “Dude, you’re the one who keeps demanding we wrestle!” 

“A decision I stand by.” 

Jane smiled, a little confused but mostly amused. “Well, if that’s the case, I trust I can leave the rest to you John? There’s only a few things in the oven, and once they’ve cooled call me in to ice them. Until then I will be helping dad with the decorations.” 

With that, she slid her apron off, properly wiped off her hands, and left. John leaned over a bit to make sure she was actually leaving, then turned to lean down and give Dirk a kiss. Dirk, apparently expecting this, tilted his head up and accepted it happily. Humming, John pulled back just enough to look at Dirk. 

“So, apologizing went well?”

“Mmhm. Don’t look so smug.” 

John grinned, giving Dirk another peck before standing straight and going to put away the rest of the containers. “Why not? I was right, and now my birthday party is going to be a lot better without you two being weird!” 

“But not perfect?”

“Well, it would be perfect,” John mused, opening the tupperware filled with cookies and starting to set them on a plate with a ton other cookies, “if you and Jake would talk too.” 

Dirk frowned. He was silent for a long moment, then looked back into the oven. “Yeah, well. Can’t get everything you want.” 

“I’m not the only one who wants it. I’m pretty sure Jane and Roxy really want that, too.” 

Dirk didn’t reply. Sighing, John decided not to push it, hurrying to get everything organized and shove all the dishes in the sink. Standing still wasn’t his forte, and he had a while to wait for the baked goods. He touched Dirk every time he passed him- a kiss to the top of his head, a brush of his fingers across the back of his neck, knocking their socked feet together- not quite able to keep his hands to himself. He was pretty sure Dirk appreciated it though, because it meant John wasn’t taking his dickish comment to heart. 

On one pass by, Dirk caught John’s fingers as they teased at his nape. Turning his head, he kissed them very lightly, muttering, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” 

John smiled, readjusting their grip so he could tug Dirk to standing. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it.” 

Looking at him, Dirk hesitated for a moment. He glanced out the door, and when he saw no one in their immediate vicinity, reached a hand up to John’s neck and tugged him into a kiss. It was very hard not to sink into it, especially since Dirk’s fingers curled into the hairs there, and John crumbled very easily. He kissed back, his free hand coming to Dirk’s waist. It was hard to resist Dirk, especially when he really should be. 

John could have stood there kissing Dirk for hours, and might have, if the oven timer didn’t go off. John lept into action, mind still buzzing a little, and left Dirk blinking to open the oven and retrieve the things inside. Dirk caught the back of his shirt just as he was reaching and gave him a blank look. 

“Dude, gloves.” 

“Oh, right. Thanks!” 

Shaking his head, Dirk grabbed the oven mitts and handed them over. There was still a small, fond smile on his lips. John returned it, pulling the pans out of the oven and setting them on the counter, bumping the door closed with his hip. 

“Okay,” the oven mitts muffled the sound when he clapped, “time to decorate!” 

***

Guests started showing up ten minutes before the designated time, the first being Rose and Kanaya. The next, exactly on time, was Roxy and Hal, followed closely by Jade and Jake. Fashionably late, as always, was Dave and Karkat. Roxy dragged the birthday people out of the kitchen upon arrival, which left their fathers to put the finishing touches on the ridiculous amount of food. The house found itself to be very crowded very quickly, as did the study, where everyone set their presents and overnight bags for the time being. It felt like they were all still teenagers, coming over for a birthday sleepover. 

Dirk mingled with some people, but generally skirted around the edges of the crowd, doing his best to avoid Jake. It was pretty easy at first, he just stuck to the kitchen and offered to help Mr. Crocker and Mr. Egbert, but then his dumb twin had swooped in (no doubt at Roxy’s insistence) and scooped him out to the main party. Hal had yet to let Dirk escape since, because he was evil and the worst. 

“Harold,” Dirk started through clenched teeth, knowing full well that wasn’t actually Hal’s name, “would it be terribly inconvenient to ask to you fuck off?” 

“It would, Deitrich, as my handsome partner specifically asked me to make sure you didn’t hide away.” Hal flicked him in the side, expression neutral. “And we both know you’re just as much of a sucker for Roxy’s big ass eyes as I am.” 

Grumbling, Dirk leaned against the wall behind him and cast his eyes over the crowd. His shades connected with Daves from across the room, standing awkwardly next to Karkat as he talked with Kanaya. He glanced between his boyfriend and his brothers, said something, then slipped quickly around the edges of the room to come stand at Dirk’s other side. He leaned against the wall and offered a fist. 

“Sup.” 

“Sup,” Dirk tapped his knuckles to Daves, then leaned back to let Dave reach Hal, “you had a chance to greet John and Jane yet?” 

“Nope. It’s like the CEO security from Sweet Life of Zack and Cody over there, a wall of people with no way of getting through no matter who you are. Jade and Jake are monopolizing their space, then the Lalonde’s are being the Lalonde’s. I’m afraid that if I try shoving my way through the crowd that they’ll just pick me apart and tell me I have abandonment issues or some shit.” 

“Well,” Hal started, but shut his mouth when Dave threw him a look. 

Dave continued to stare him down for a bit more, then turned to Dirk. “But how you holding up, man?”

“What do you mean?” 

Hal cocked a brow. “Don’t play dumb dude. You’re trapped by social obligation in a room with your ex in it. The ex you were with for years and who broke up with you on the phone then took off to Europe to avoid you. Who came back only a bit ago and you haven’t talked to yet. It seems like that would be the exact kind of thing you’d be having a silent meltdown about.” 

“Wouldn’t put it like that, because that was tactless Hal damn,” Dave shrugged, “but yeah. That’s basically what I mean.” 

“Well, this may come as a surprise, but I haven’t been thinking about that,” Dirk half-lied. He had been thinking about that, but he was more antsy about not being able to hold his boyfriend’s hand rather than strategizing how to avoid ending up in the same conversation as Jake. 

Both Hal and Dave stared at him. Hal said ‘bullshit’ the same time Dave said ‘come on man’, in the exact same inflection. Dirk wondered if it was any more obvious that the three of them were related, if the shades and their general complexions didn’t give it away. Rolling his eyes, Dirk spotted Roxy peeling away from the conversation to grab a snack, and took the opportunity to chase him down before Hal did. 

“Rude. Your distrust in my words hurt. Betrayed by my brothers, my own flesh and blood, in the most heinous of ways. I knew Hal was the evil twin, but Dave, how could you? I trusted you.” Dirk pushed away from the wall and started walking away. “Looks like there’s an opening to Egbert and Crocker, you two better take it before the hole closes up.” 

Flash stepping away before either of them could retaliate, Dirk pushed into the kitchen and over to the counter, where Roxy was filling up a plate of various sweets. Before he could say anything, Roxy offered him a cupcake without even looking to see who was there. 

The cupcake was obviously John’s work, if the slightly shaky Ghostbusters logo had anything to say about it, and Dirk couldn’t help but smile a little as he took it. John didn’t even like most baked goods, and he still demanded to decorate his own. Jane hadn’t been too thrilled about that. 

The slimer was a simplified smiling one, in John’s favourite shade of green. The circle and line over the ghost were in orange instead of red, something John could easily say he ran out of red frosting for. Dirk’s insides flipped a little and his smile widened at the thought of John doing it for Dirk. It could have not been for that reason, but it was nice to think that it was. 

It took a moment for Dirk to realize that Roxy was staring at him, an all too knowing grin on his face. It was the kind of look that said ‘caught you’ and made Dirk nervous. He took a bite out of the cupcake, both almost pointedly to say he wasn’t being sappy about it and to ruin the design so he would actually stop being sappy about it. 

“Diiiiirk,” Roxy said, singsong, “is there something you wanna tell me?”

“Nope,” Dirk replied, muffled by his mouthful. “I’m just here because you set Hal on me, and I’d like to complain about it.” 

Roxy giggled. “My boo is good at what he do. Did you get to talk to anyone else yet?” 

“Yes actually. I arrived early to talk with Jane, so we’re good now.” 

“Oh!” Roxy’s teasing expression broke, relief and joy springing to his eyes. “Oh thank GOD. I love you Di-Stri, but oh em gee, y’all can really make a person tired with all the fighting. I was just like, yo, can you get your shit together? And you did! Can't wait for the squad to get back together.”

Dirk felt a little guilty for putting Roxy through being the middle manager again. The first time it happened hadn’t been fun either. But he was a little more guilty at what he was about to say. 

“Right. The squad. The group. Back in action.” He absently unwrapped the cupcake. “And by that do you mean you Jane and I, or…?”

The look Roxy gave him would make a lesser man wince. Luckily, Dirk was a greater man, and only took another bite of the cupcake to avoid looking at him or saying more. Putting one hand on his hip and holding the plate a little away from himself (and looking a bit like he was about to start singing little teapot, though Dirk held his tongue), Roxy faced Dirk fully. 

“Dirk,” he started, “you better not be hinting that you and Jake haven’t talked yet. Because he told me you talked, and I thought, woah, so soon? Good on them. Don’t make me revoke my pride in you.” 

Dirk frowned, chewing thoughtfully for a moment, then swallowed. “Well. We did talk, sort of. Did he… say what we talked about?” 

Roxy frowned, too. “Kind of? He was going around in circles a bit after I drilled him for up and leaving like that, then not checking in, and what I picked up on in the end was that you both moved on and it was chill.” 

“...Hm.” 

Roxy’s eyes narrowed. “... What did you actually talk about?” 

Dirk looked down. Eying the cupcake, the happy slimer’s grinning face still visible, he thought about how much easier this would be if John were next to him. Or at least, if they were open about their relationship yet. Which neither of them were ready for. But it would be easier. 

“...So.” 

“Jesus Christ.” 

“I went over to talk to John, and it turned out Jake was back and John forgot to tell me. So I may or may not have shaken John’s address out of him like a bully before school holding you by the ankle taking lunch money, then immediately bailed and went over to John’s and hung out with him. And then never tried to go back or call Jake up again.” 

Slowly, Roxy set down his plate. Putting his hands together, he raised them to his lips and took a deep breath. He pointed his fingers at Dirk, looked him in the eye, and said, with conviction, “Dirk, what the fuck?” 

Dirk shrugged. Roxy looked off to the side and sighed. They were both silent for a long moment. 

“...Okay, but you cannot deny you have the biggest fucking crush on John now. That’s, like, undisprovable. You got it bad, bad enough you fuckin ditched Jake. I didn’t think that was a thing that could happen.” 

Dirk didn’t say anything to that. He couldn’t exactly keep denying it when Roxy had that kind of evidence against him. Roxy watched him for a few more moments, then turned back to his plate and started piling on food again. 

“How did Johnny react when you showed up like that?”

“Pretty well. We watched some Cage flicks and I refrained from making fun of them.” When Roxy gave him a look, Dirk revised his statement. “I refrained from talking through them completely.” 

“LMAO, that sounds about right.” He paused for a moment. “So, when are you planning on asking Johnny out? Gotta pounce while you can, twink.”

Dirk smacked his shoulder. Roxy only giggled. 

***

John was pretty used to Jade tucking his head against her shoulder and holding him there. She was the tallest of them, sans Kanaya, and had always been taller than Jake and John. This caused her to develop the habit of squishing them to her and not letting go. But it was pretty comfortable all things considered, so John didn’t mind and wouldn’t unless Jade started messing with him. It wasn’t like he could twist out of her grip if she decided to get her knuckles in his hair anyways. 

What John wasn’t used to was having Rose stare at him, smug and knowing, like she was just waiting for the right moment to pounce. John had been expecting this a little bit, ever since his conversation about sexuality with Rose, but she hadn’t mentioned anything for so long that John forgot about it. But now here he was, face to face with her in a setting he couldn’t really escape, entirely up to her mercy. It was weird, but it was Rose, so John had to be used to weird. 

He was also getting some weird glances from Jake, which he really didn’t care for. It was like everyone who had a vague inclination about his and Dirk’s relationship was here to make him nervous about it. It made him ansty, both wanting to go find Dirk and to not, wanting to seek his comfort but also wanting to keep it a secret. It was a weird combination that had John’s palms sweating. 

He knew, logically, that none of his friends would mind much in the end and they’d support him and if he decided to confirm Jake’s suspicions, there would just be some confusion and then it would all be fine. But John just didn’t feel ready. He was still figuring things out. Like what label he wanted to use, now that he wasn’t straight. 

His friends were there to help him if he asked, obviously, but John wanted to do this on his own. So many of his opinions and experiences were formed through his friends, he wanted to be able to find at least this answer by himself. 

When Jade finally released him to go talk to Dave and Hal, Jake and Rose looked at each other in a way that told John they were silently arguing over who got to talk to him first. It made him wonder if they knew what the other wanted to say, but since they wanted to talk separately with John about basically the same thing, he doubted it. It seemed Rose won, though, because she cocked a delicate smile at Jake as he sighed and slipped over to Jane, who had gone to talk to Kanaya and Karkat. Leaving John to deal with Rose’s sharp expression by himself. 

“So,” she started, her voice quiet enough to not be overheard over the chatter, “have you put any thought into what advice I gave you all those weeks ago?” 

“Uh.” John shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, I did.” 

“I see. That’s good. Have you drawn any conclusions? It’s alright if you haven’t, I wouldn’t want to rush your revelations, but if I might be of service I’d like to assist.” 

Mouth twisting to the side, John’s eyes drifted to the kitchen doorway, where he’d last seen Dirk disappear. It was a mistake, of course, because when he stopped wishing for Dirk to appear and save him from this conversation and looked back at Rose, her expression was downright gleeful. John had to bite down on his annoyance at how observant and smart Rose was. He kept forgetting that she was really good at drawing conclusions, and that they were right more often than not. 

“Sort of,” John settled on saying. “I’m still working some things out. It’s just… confusing, you know? I’ve never really thought about it before. It feels like one of those things that I should probably figure out on my own?” 

Rose hummed, expression softening. “Yes, it does feel like that, doesn’t it? I can understand that. But John,” she reached out, setting a hand on his elbow, “keep in mind you have many friends who would love to help. Myself included. You don’t have to do it alone, I’d hope you’d seek someone if you needed the assistance.”

Smiling a little, John took Rose’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Thanks, Rose. I know. You’ll be the first person I turn to if I do need help with that.” 

Lighting up a bit, Rose smiled genuinely and squeezed back. “Good. I’m also here if you need any… romantic help. Such as, say, asking a cute boy in dumb shades out on a date.” 

Sputtering, and probably flushing, John snatched his hand back and shoved Rose lightly. His reaction made it hard to deny that he  _ was _ interested in that, if Rose’s giggles and knowing looks were anything to go by. He was right, she was too smart for her own good. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some shenanigans. Some serious talks. Then some more shenanigans!

As the party went on, and the snacks slowly dwindled, Dirk relaxed into the familiar atmosphere of everyone he’d ever cared about being in one place again. He thought he’d be awkward with so many people at once. And he was. But there was something peaceful about watching Roxy throw his arms over John and Jane’s shoulders while Hal showed Jane and Jade something on his phone, Dave chatting a mile a minute at John with Karkat nearby arguing with Rose, who in turn asked Jake for his opinion. Dirk had been having a fairly relaxed conversation with Kanaya about different sewing techniques when he found himself staring at the scene, surprisingly calm and warm about the chatter and volume. 

It was weird to realize that he’d missed this. Everyone had been busy lately, it was hard to find the time to sit down as a group like this. Even then, Dirk knew John was a little bummed that he couldn’t invite a couple of his other friends over since they weren’t in town (which Dirk was secretly glad for, he wouldn’t be so relaxed if Vriska and Terezi were here). But Dirk could still see the way John lit up, surrounded by his friends and family. Even if Dirk hadn’t missed this and was uncomfortable the whole party. John’s smile would be reason enough to stick around and try. 

There was no official dinner, as the evening rolled around, since the snack table in the kitchen was more than outfitted to feed thirteen adults. But around that time, Mr. Egbert and Mr. Crocker still rolled out of the kitchen, carrying a large cake between them, and everyone moved to give them a path to John and Jane and started up an absolutely horrendous rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’. John looked physically pained, though Dirk couldn’t tell if it was because of the cake or the off-key, off-beat cacophony around him, topped off by Dave trying to beatbox. Jane just laughed, but she was eyeing the cake suspiciously, like it would explode. Dirk wouldn’t put it past the fathers to do that. 

When the song came to a close, the fathers stood and presented the cake. John and Jane met eyes, both narrowed and suspicious, and there was a tense moment of an inner dialogue before they came to a conclusion. They leaned forward carefully, bodies tense, and blew out the candles together. Everyone cheered, Dirk doing a slow sarcastic clap, and the pair waited for something to happen. When it didn’t, they stood up straight, relief on their faces for half a second before their fathers brought cream pies out from behind their backs and smacked them in the face. 

“Holy shit,” Dave said, loudly, and Dirk couldn’t help agreeing because he hadn’t even seen the two carrying the pies with them. 

Roxy doubled over cackling, Hal not far behind him, which cascaded to most of the party. Not bothering to remove his glasses, John gave his dad a flat look, and only received a smile in response. Dirk failed to hold back a snort. 

“Well,” Jane started, holding a hand under her chin to catch any cream that dripped, “can’t say I didn’t expect that. Hoohoohoo!” 

“Uuuuuugh.” John started walking to the kitchen. “Bluh, it’s in my mouth. Why did you use shaving cream instead of whip cream?! This is so gross.” 

With another laugh, Jane followed John, supposedly to clean off. Mr. Egbert and Mr. Crocker started handing out cake slices, saving the first cut for Jane. Dirk greedily accepted the biggest slice he could get before perching on the arm of the couch. When John came back some minutes later, clean and a little damp with a slice of pie and some ice cream, making his guests scootch over to sit between Dirk and Jade, Dirk raised a brow at him. 

“What, too good for cake?” 

John rolled his eyes. “I just don’t like it much. I’ve had way too much cake in my life, it gets weird and gross after a while.”

“Bullshit. Cake is always good. It’s like pizza, even if it’s super shitty it's really good. There cannot be a bad cake. You obviously have no taste, as you have pecan pie and vanilla ice cream. The most bland of flavours, if you will.” 

“Hey! They’re perfectly good flavours! Your taste buds have just died because you haven’t had a good meal in your life!” 

“Lies and slander, baseless accusations. How dare you, John. You will pay dearly for this transgression with your life.” 

“Nu-uh! You can’t do anything to me, cause it’s my birthday! I’m immune to the laws of the land on this day.” John gave him a big grin, one that made his heart do flips, and shoved some pie into his mouth. 

Dirk couldn’t quite help his own little smile. “Well, fuck. Foiled again by your Purge ass rules. This totally isn’t like playing tag with a kid just for them to pull some rules out of their ass about how they can’t be tagged and you go along with it anyways, because the fit they would throw just isn’t worth it. You’ve won this time, Egbert.” He paused dramatically. “Except, wait, isn’t your birthday actually not for another couple of days? Which renders your immunity useless? And your crimes must be paid?”

John’s eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth to protest, but Dirk quickly stabbed a piece of his cake and shoved it into John’s mouth. Sputtering, John’s face wrinkled in disgust and he spat it back onto a clear spot on his plate promptly. Dirk snorted. 

“Gross.” 

“Dude!  _ That  _ was gross!” 

“Please, it’s delicious.” Shrugging, Dirk popped a piece of cake into his mouth. 

John’s nose wrinkled again, cute and scrunched in a way that made Dirk want to pinch it, and motioned to his pie. “So you wouldn’t mind if i shoved some of my very bland pie at you?” 

Cocking a brow, Dirk swallowed his cake and reached over to get a bit of the pie, dipped it in the ice cream, and bit into it. John blanched at him. He chewed, pointedly, then swallowed.

“Just because I said it was bland, doesn’t mean I can’t like it.” 

John shook his head at Dirk, slumping back with a groan. “You’re the worst.”

Dirk chuckled. John looked at him again, and as much as he tried to look annoyed, his expression was softening in a way that sent flutters through Dirk’s stomach. John’s elbow was on the arm rest behind Dirk, where he could brush his fingers across Dirk’s back when he shifted and make it look like an accident, and Dirk wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss him right there and then. It would be so easy to shift and slide into John’s lap, wind his fingers into his hair, and pull him in. John wouldn’t likely protest it. 

But they were in the living room, surrounded by their friends and family, and still not ready to make that kind of announcement. So Dirk only gave John a little smile and turned back to his cake, and zoned into someone else's conversation. He also tried very hard to ignore the delighted grins he was getting from a pair of Lalonde’s. It was easier said than done. 

***

They were halfway through watching Spy Kids, the only movie they could all agree to watch at that time, when everyone had finished their cake and put their dishes in the kitchen at varying times. John stood to go wash them instinctively, but was stopped by a hand to his chest that shoved him back down. 

“Where do you think you’re going, Egbert?”

John raised a brow at Dirk. “Uh, going to wash the dishes? So we don’t have to deal with them later?”

“Dude. This is your birthday party. You shouldn’t be washing shit.” 

“Yeah, John,” Jade placed a hand on his arm on his other side, “we can leave it until tomorrow and then wash them, if you’re so worried about it. But you should be celebrating and hanging out!”

Jane nodded. “It really isn’t a bother, come sit.” 

John would normally listen to Jade and relax again, hanging out with his friends. But then he had an idea, something sneaky, and he really hoped it would work. He shrugged, going to stand up again, brushing his hand over Dirk’s back up to his shoulders to try getting him to clue in. 

“I won’t be that long, and this is technically Jane’s house so I feel kind of bad. I’ll just do them then come back!” 

Dirk was silent for a moment. John was worried he hadn’t picked up on what John was doing, as it was kind of obtuse, but then he slid off the arm and got into a stance. “If you’re that worried, I’ll drag someone else to do them with me. But you sit your ass back down, birthday boy.” 

John pretended to think about that, then grinned. “Hm. Nope! I know where everything is, so it’s fine.” 

They stared at each other for a long moment. Then John took off towards the kitchen doors, jumping over Dave’s legs where he sat on the floor, Dirk hot on his heels. They fought through the door, Dirk trying to yank John back by the back of his shirt, which only served to drag Dirk into the room too when John used the doorway as leverage to get him through. Giggling all the way, he ignored Dirk’s curses until they were out of sight. 

As soon as John couldn’t see any of their friends, he turned to pull Dirk into a kiss but was beaten to it. Dirk slipped into his personal space, one hand still balled in the back of his shirt, and pressed their lips together firmly. John giggled again, backing further away from the door and taking Dirk with him. 

“I missed you,” he mumbled between kisses. 

Dirk huffed and pulled away just enough to give him a look. “It’s been only a handful of hours since we last kissed, and we’ve been in the same place for all of them.” 

“I know, but still!” Wrapping his arms around Dirk’s waist, John backed up until his hips hit the counter, where he could comfortably lean back. “I missed being able to kiss you and hold your hand. Kind of more than when we haven’t seen each other for a while? I don’t know, it’s weird.” 

Dirk hummed, placing his hands on the counter either side of John and leaning against him. He ducked his head into John’s shoulder, and John moved his hands to rub Dirk’s back and feel his muscles slowly relax against him. 

“I get what you mean.” 

Smiling, John rested his temple against Dirk’s head. They stood there for a few moments, quiet, just existing in each other’s space and breathing. After a bit, John kissed Dirk’s temple, and Dirk pulled back. 

“We should actually do dishes though, it would be weird if we said we’d do them and then just. Didn’t.” 

Dirk hummed, and they stepped over to the sink. They emptied it, filled it with soap and water (John flicked the first suds at Dirk playfully, which earned him a smack with a twirled up cloth), and started working. John washed and directed where everything went while Dirk dried and put them there, smooth and calm, with the sounds of their friends chattering over the movie in the other room. 

John wondered, briefly, if this was what it would be like to live with Dirk. If they would be doing dishes together after dinner, sharing a soft silence. Would it be as comfortable as John imagined? He hoped so. But it was probably far too early in the relationship to be thinking about that stuff, so John didn’t mention it. He instead handed Dirk another cup and pointed him towards the proper cupboard. 

After some minutes of working together peacefully, John bumped his hip into Dirk’s. “Hey, so I got grilled by Rose earlier. She knows for sure that I like you. Said that if I needed help trying to ask you out, I could ask her.” 

Pausing, Dirk snorted, then shook his head. “Lalondes. Roxy did the same, seduced me with cupcakes then started asking questions. He wants to know when I’m going to ask you out too. Can’t wait to see their faces when we reveal we already are. They might just straight up kill us.” 

“Oh god, that’ll be a nightmare. They’re going to have so many questions. That almost makes me want to tell them now, just so we can avoid their wrath when we have to say how long we’ve been together.” 

“Mmhm. Leave it up to a Lalonde to convince someone to tell them something through the thought of a threat to come.” 

Giggling, John bumped his hip into Dirk’s again, handing him a plate. “Just almost. I like having you to myself for now too much.”

Cocking a brow, Dirk fought back a smile. “Well, aren’t you a charmer? You trying to butter me up? Well sorry to say, flattery won’t get you anywhere.” 

“Oh really? Won’t even get me a kiss from my boyfriend?” 

“Nope. These lips are sealed tight. You’ll just have to live with the fact that my kissable visage is off limits, to you and everyone else, for the rest of time.” 

John hummed. “Pretty sure I remember you kissing me just a bit ago.” 

“Well, you remember wrong. That was Hal. I’m insulted you can’t tell us apart, Egbert.” 

John laughed, flicking some water at Dirk. Dirk retaliated by taking the wet hand that had just been holding a dish and smearing it across John’s cheek. They stared at each other for a moment. Then John swiped his fingers through the suds and shoved them at Dirk the same time he dipped the corner of his rag in the water and smacked John with it. They devolved quickly into seeing who could get the other’s shirt more wet without making a mess of the kitchen. John couldn’t keep the grin off his face. Even when Dirk flicked on the tap and angled the water to hit him just right. 

When John’s shirt was almost completely soaked through, he reached forward and grabbed Dirk by the shoulders, pulling him in for a big hug, hoping to transfer the wetness. Dirk tried to duck away, but was yanked firmly into John’s arms. He made a disgusted noise, planting his hands on John’s hips and trying to push away. John just held him tighter, giggling. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re soaked.” 

“And whose fault is that, I wonder?” 

“A mystery. A gross, wet mystery. You sure you’re not the thing that came up out of the lagoon to terrorize humankind?” 

“Pretty sure!” 

Wrinkling his face, Dirk gave him a look, distinguishable even with his shades on. John just leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. Dirk’s face smoothed over, going extra flat. 

“Affection. Gross.” 

Snorting, John opened his mouth to retaliate, but Dirk leaned forward and caught his mouth in another kiss and John stayed quiet. Well, mostly quiet. He couldn’t quite hold back the little laugh that bubbled out of him. He felt light and giddy, remembering a different time that Dirk and him had gotten into a silly fight in a kitchen. He’d really wanted to kiss Dirk then, too. And now he actually got to. 

They stayed like that, blissfully unaware of their surroundings. And like earlier that day, they were interrupted. 

“John, we’re going to be putting on a Cage flick if you’d like to- oh jeezums!” 

The two leapt apart. Feeling blood rush high on his cheeks, John looked over with dread thumping between his ears. Jake stood a few paces from the door, his face also somewhat coloured, looking everywhere but at Dirk and John. When he noticed they had broken apart, he looked over, but kept his wide and awkward eyes on John. 

“Well! I, er, had my suspicions that the two of you fancied each other. But I hadn’t known you were, uhm, doing the tonsil tango, as one would say!” 

“No one says that.” John despaired, looking at the ceiling. “It’s tonsil tennis. But please don’t call it that, either. Or say anything about this.” 

“Oh! Yes, mums the word! I’ll be quite hush hush!” 

Jake laughed nervously, eyes skittering across the wall. Turning to John, Dirk gave him a raised brow. John understood it as Dirk speak for ‘are you seriously asking Jake to keep a secret’. And unfortunately, he was. 

“I’m serious, Jake. We’re not ready to tell anyone about this. I really need you to keep this thing quiet, please.” 

“I already agreed! You can trust my discretion, John. There won’t be a word about this!” 

John nodded, looking at Dirk again. He wanted to confirm with Dirk if he should go out to watch the movie or if he should stay, but Dirk wasn’t looking at him. Instead, he was trying to look at Jake, but his head kept turning slightly further than him. He looked like he wanted to say something more, or mention something else entirely, but didn’t really know how to go about it. 

Frowning, John looked at Jake. He looked a little the same, shifting awkwardly and rubbing his hands together, on his pants, over the back of his neck. His nervous energy was tinged with the need to do something, but he wasn’t doing it. Like he knew he had to do something he wouldn’t like, and was delaying it. 

John glanced at the doorway, to both of them, then back. Personally, John didn’t have anything against Jake. They were cousins, and John loved Jake, even if he wasn’t the brightest sometimes. And John didn’t want to get into his business with Dirk, because that was messy and would take a lot of time to mend. He probably shouldn’t go sticking his nose in it. 

But they both so obviously wanted to talk, they just didn’t know where to start. So John picked up a cloth, dried his arms, and did his best to soak up the water in his shirt as he walked towards the door. Loudly, and unconvincingly, he raised his voice. 

“Oh, you want to volunteer to finish the dishes with Dirk, Jake? Wow, thanks! Now I can enjoy that Cage flick you mentioned. You’re a real pal!” 

With that, John slipped back into the living room, avoiding Dirk’s venomous look. He tossed the cloth back over to a counter, shirt still pretty wet despite his best efforts, and stopped short when he saw everyone looking at him. The expressions ranged from mild surprise to shock to delight. No one said anything for a long moment. 

“...What? We all know that had to happen.” 

Dave raised a hand. “Why are you soaking dude?” 

“Dirk and I were messing around.” John walked in and sat on the floor, careful not to lean on the couch and get it all wet. “So! What Nic Cage movie are we watching?” 

***

Dirk was going to have some strong words with his boyfriend when he got a hold of him next. It was one thing to talk to him and push him towards being a better person and actually talk about his shit, but it was another thing entirely to abandon him with that shit. The variable in that equation, ‘shit’, being his ex. 

Said ex was standing in the middle of the kitchen, gaping at the kitchen doors. Dirk’s own mouth was pressed into a thin line, muscles all wound tight. Neither of them moved for a long time, not even when Jake slowly dragged his eyes over again. Then Jake snapped his mouth closed, squared his shoulders, and gave Dirk a strained and shaky smile. 

“Er, so! What’s left of those dishes?” 

Turning, Dirk shoved his hands into the water. “Not much. John and I got the bulk of it. There’s just some baking tools left.” 

“Right-o.” 

Shuffling over, Jake picked up a new cloth to dry with and stood awkwardly at Dirk’s side. Dirk did his best to ignore Jake, eyes down at the dishes and suds, wrinkly fingers tight around the baking tray he was scraping at. It felt ridiculous earlier, to be washing dishes at a birthday party, but at least he’d been with John. Everything was better with John. Now he just felt stupid and trapped. 

He knew he should open his mouth and say something- anything- but whenever he thought of the words they’d evaporate into denial in his hands and his mouth would remain stubbornly closed. All of the  _ sorry _ ’s, the  _ where were you _ ’s, the  _ why _ ’s all trapped like bile building in his throat. But he wouldn’t be the first to spill. 

Jake could be just as stubborn as him, if not more, so Dirk was surprised when he cleared his throat and quietly began to talk. “Ah, Dirk, there are… a few things I should probably say to you. And possibly explain. Because it was brought to my attention that the way I broke things off wasn’t the best!” 

Cocking a brow, Dirk frowned at the dishes, hands stilling. He didn’t look over, but he didn’t tell Jake to stop, either. 

After a long moment of silence, Jake continued. “So, I sort of explained some things over the phone. I’m not sure if you remember, we were both quite emotional at the time. But we…” Jake sighed. “We weren’t good together anymore. And it was hard to stick to a break up to your face when you would say such sweet things about how we could work things out! We really did give it the ol’ college try, too. But it wasn’t working.” 

Dirk knew all of that, now. He’d known that since he realized he had feelings for John. It became stupidly clear after he and John started dating, too, because their relationship felt nothing like his one with Jake near the end. He’d almost forgotten what being happy in his relationship was like. 

Jake sighed again beside him, running a hand through his hair. “I suppose what I truly want to say though is… I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m not sorry that I ended things, but I am regretful for how it left you. And that I didn’t find a more tactful way of doing it.” 

Dirk was silent for a long moment. Forcing his shoulders to relax, he shook his head, starting to scrub the baking sheet again. “Don’t be sorry about how you did it. I was up my own ass about our relationship, and wasn’t admitting there was something wrong. It’s probably for the best that you fucked off, gave me time to actually look at our shit and go ‘oh damn, that stinks, I should throw that out. Where are my goddamn gloves.’ Like I’d just realized there was something dead and rotting in the room, which was probably the Elephant, and it took you leaving me alone with it as it stunk up the place for me to notice. I was kind of an ass about everything.” 

Jake blinked, then chuckled. “Well, it’s not as though I was all that forthcoming about my feelings on the matter at the time either. And flying to Europe was probably an extreme reaction.” 

Snorting, Dirk handed the dish over to him. Jake took it and started drying. “Just a lil’.” 

They were quiet for another long moment. It was still awkward, but there was something less charged about it. Dirk took a breath, sliding the next dish over to Jake. As he let it out, he relaxed the remaining muscles in his body as much as he could. 

That hadn’t been so bad. Certainly wasn’t the loud and anger filled conversation Dirk had been expecting. Then again, Dirk always expected the worst. They’d said their apologies, and understood each other’s sides enough that they wouldn’t avoid each other so heavily. Jane and Roxy would be glad for that at least. 

“Er,” Jake started, crouched and putting a dish away, drawing Dirk’s attention, “I feel as though this is a rather silly question to ask, but, well, a lot has happened recently. And it might just be my ol’ noggin fretting too much, but in the case it isn’t, I do want to clarify if we- er, well, if you and I, after everything that’s happened-”

Dirk rolled his eyes. “Spit it out, Jake.” 

“Right. I was wondering if, after everything that happened… we could perhaps still be mates?” 

Blinking, Dirk turned away from the last couple of dishes. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He frowned, thinking. 

Could they? It was a fair question. He and Jake had been on again off again since they were in high school, all of that history was bound to put some strain on any friendship they tried to keep after the fact. Not to mention that Dirk was currently dating his cousin. They might just end up being painfully awkward around each other for the rest of their lives, barely able to foster a bond but trying for Roxy and Jane’s sakes. 

But Dirk had known Jake since he was twelve. He didn’t want all of that time and all of those memories to go to waste. He didn’t want to lose Jake, even if their relationship had to change. He was one of Dirk’s first friends, and one of the most important people in his life. It might be naive to want to hold onto that, but Dirk really wanted to. 

“It’ll probably take a fuck ton of time and effort on our part, and this is going to be profoundly awkward to begin with, I’d prefer if we could be.” 

Jake’s body language slumped with relief, a breath he’d been holding whooshing out of him. He stood and came back over, grinning brightly. “Capital! Happy to continue being your friend then, Dirk!” 

Dirk snorted. “You’re making this sound like a business prospect instead of the continuation of a relationship.”

“Yes, well. No business like friendship!” 

That was superbly lame. Dirk didn’t say that, though, in the spirit of a rekindled companionship. He just snorted, turning back to the dishes. Jake slid back to his side, taking the next offered tray to dry and put away. 

After another moment of quiet, Jake spoke again. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask. Though I thought I’d be asking John, and- well, that doesn’t matter.” He chuckled sheepishly. “Er, how are you and John going? It seemed to be rather swell, when I caught you two canoodling, but I thought I’d ask!” 

Dirk snorted at Jake’s terms, willing himself to not turn red at the reminder. For once, it worked. “It’s going good. Actually good, not some fucked up version of it. It’s new and we’re pretty new to this shit, but it’s good. We’re working out. Or, more accurately, we’re making it work.” 

Jake’s grin was blinding. “I’m glad!” 

Dirk believed it. He hesitated, then gave Jake his own smile that came out more as a smirk. It was still returned twofold. 

When they finished and went back into the livingroom to join the others, watching Into The Spiderverse, Dirk ignored the curious and worried glances. He took a seat next to Roxy on the floor, bumping their shoulders together in a silent ‘it’s fine’. Roxy understood, face brightening and looking over to Jake, who was next to Jane and giving her a similar signal. Their faces were so happy Dirk couldn’t help the quirk of his own lips. 

John, on the floor in front of Jane, gave him a slightly worried glance. Not worried about him and Jake, but about leaving him like that. Which he should be, Dirk was going to give him an earful about that later. But not right now. In a show of good faith, Dirk stuck his tongue out at John. Immediately perking up, John returned the gesture, much more childish than Dirk’s own stoic face with a silly grin. It was cute, and made his insides twist pleasantly. 

Looking at the TV, Dirk raised a brow. “I was under the impression that when I came in there would be a Nic Cage movie on.” 

“Oh, yes,” Jane waved a hand, “he is in this. This is my compromise between Nicolas Cage and a movie I’m actually interested in.” 

“He’s Spider Noir!” John said happily, the gap between ‘spider’ and ‘noir’ clear in his emphasis, the same way he separated ‘ghost’ and ‘busters’. “I was expecting an actual Nic Cage movie too, but this is fine.” 

Karkat rolled his eyes. “So sorry we couldn’t stand to watch another flick of his after the countless times you’ve forced his ugly mug upon us. Truly, I’m fucking devastated we couldn’t satisfy your weird Cage boner.” 

Dave snorted, offering his fist. Karkat tapped his knuckles against his. John rolled his own eyes, putting a hand out. Jade grabbed the pillow behind her and dropped it into his hand with a grin, laughing delightfully when he whipped it at the two. They squawked, Dave’s shades going askew, and retaliated. They missed, spectacularly, and the room quickly devolved into laughter and yelps. 

Dirk watched, a smile tugging at his lips, relaxed. They really didn’t get together often enough. It was nice to watch everyone let go and act like they were seventeen again. 

A pillow smacked Dirk in the face. Looking over at Rose, the perpetrator, she gave him a deceptively innocent smile and continued to pretend she was perfectly prim and proper next to Kanaya. Kanaya gave her away more than Rose did, with a hand over her mouth and amusement in her eyes. Plucking up the pillow, Dirk accepted the silent challenge, tossing it right back at them. 

He wasn’t immune to acting like he was seventeen again either. Dirk found he could live with that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I don't have the last chapter done, and idk when I will get it done cause all my writing motivation has been sucked out of me by quarantine, but I will write and finish it one day! And you will get to read it! I promise. 
> 
> Stay safe, be kind to yourself, and I'll see y'all next time! <333

**Author's Note:**

> A birthday fic? That focuses more on Dirk than John? In MY tags? It's more likely than you think!
> 
> I really wanted to focus more on John than I am but I can't help but fix Dirk's messes lol. This entire thing is a birthday fic, and I'm going to post really randomly since it's only three chapters that I meant to have all done by now, whoops. I'm 2/3rd's of the way there! So, soon. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Happy 4/13, be safe, and have fun y'all!!! <333


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